Rule 1: There will always be a boss. He will be over 40. He is to maintain a standard of anger and verbal abuse throughout the course of the job. He will always have a sexual potency complex. He will be a veteran of the armed forces (if for some reason this is not possible, then he must have a complex about that, too).

Larry was an ugly gnome of a man, roughly five feet tall, skinny and mean. He had bad posture, coke-bottle glasses and was balding. He had some sort of disease which caused his skin on his overly hairy legs and arms to peel three times as fast as a normal person's, so that he was constantly scratching the raw patches. Nature had further blessed him with a high, squeaky voice, which was to become the melody that infused all my working hours: "AAAHLL RIGHT, YOU MANGY COCKSUCKERS, GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLES AND GET TO WORK." That was his morning song to us, his beloved employees. And it didn't stop there. Whenever a word needed to be said, or not, Larry was there, continually assisting us with the most crude insults and perversions that he could muster. His range was impressive. Day in, day out, that voice booming over the dulcet tones of KGBB 103.1 FM (aka rule number 2).